Valentine’s Rhyme Contest Entries

Here are a load of super entries to the cinematic LUC Valentines Rhyme contest from the Remote Control Night, prepare yourself for a whirlwind of romantic, erotic and concerning poetry…

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’d give the underpass in Irréversible
A bit of swerve if I were you

by Ms J. Dunnicliff

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m Hal 9000,
Give me your answer, do.

by Mr. N Chadwick

Lightning heralds,
The spheres delivery;
The flesh covered metal
Of John Conners destiny.

by Ms V. Rodway

Hello Clarice
You are so fancy
I don’t like a census
I like liver with Chianti

by Ms C. Cuddihy

Roses are red
My brothers need wives
We’re going to kidnap you
Fear for your lives

by Ms C. Cuddihy

Happy Valentine’s day
This card was well priced
Hope you got my voicemails you bitch
(And watched the Passion of Christ)

by Ms C. Cuddihy

Hicks is so great
He gave me a gun
Get away from her you bitch
I’m her new mum

by Ms C. Cuddihy

Roses are red
And so is wine
Carrots have mystery
You beastly swine

by Ms C. Cuddihy

I’ll give this love thing a bash
do the best that I can
rescued you from a crash
I’m your number one fan


by Ms K. Carter

Sweet nothings whispered
caused a palaver
when the last sentence was
‘I am your father’

by Mr N. Mew

Roses are red
And available from OCP
Dead or alive
You’re coming with me

by Mr T. Henderson

The blue nymph that undoes me is fit but maligned
No less than a wonder by James Cameron designed
She’s the bulge in my pants, the jizz in my eye
and the cause of a boner that never can die!

By Mr C. Neilson (yes the police have been informed)


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