LUC Briefing 006: Fashion

Despite what the denizens of our underground lair may think, LUC is an organisation that always has one eye on the considerations of fashion.

Our standard issue boiler suit went through over forty iterations until we found just the right shade of dark blue to engender a tone of kineticism and artistry as well as being able to absorb a reasonable amount of of blood or oil before the stains become too unsightly. Fashionable design is at its strongest when form follows function, which is why our standard staff haircut is a number 4 clipper all over – classic, timeless and extremely unlikely to get caught in any exposed machinery.

The next LUC Briefing will be on the subject of: Monsters

i. John Malkovich – Fashion Designer

Get saving up if you want to dress like someone from inside John Malkovich’s head.
“THERE’S ALWAYS GRATIFICATION IN SELF-EXPRESSION”, quoth JM in stylish capital letters on his web site. I wonder if he’d let us open a stockist fifty feet below Leamington Spa?

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ii. Gaultier and The Fifth Element

From an article on Girls Do Film:

“Gaultier did more than a thousand costumes… So a thousand costumes is like 10 collections but all for one movie. It’s an incredible amount of work people don’t even know about. For a thousand costumes, he may have even done 5,000 sketches before narrowing it down”

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iii. A List Of Sewing Machines Featuring in Movies

From what is possibly a Singer 15-91 in Five Easy Pieces to the Florence Treadle in The Picture Of Dorian Grey, this list will satisfy all of your ‘what kind of sewing machine is that?’ needs during film viewing.


iv. Knock Off

A rip-roaring, enjoyably atrocious action flick from 1998, Knock Off features Jean Claude Van Damme as a salesman for a fashionable brand of Jeans. These particular Jeans appear to be counterfeit, as well as containing highly explosive rivets. In many ways an astute satire of the fashion world, as well as being the sort of film that features a man being shot by a missile at close range.

Also worth noting, the theme tune by Sparks is especially bewildering and has the air of a contractual obligation.

v. Become a Costume Designer in Just 9 Easy Steps

You might have thought that becoming a costume designer would take years of hard work, long hours and sacrifice to make it in such a highly competitive and cut-throat industry.

Apparently not.

Just follow these helpfully illustrated steps and pretty soon you’ll be costuming theatre and film productions the world over.

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vi. Pret a Porter – The Fashion World Satire That Virtually Everyone Hated

“Can you tell me what’s goin’ on on this planet? This is fuckin’ fruitcake time. I mean, is that fashion? Is it? I mean, is there a message out there? I mean, you got a lot of naked people wanderin’ around here. I mean, I been forever trying to find out what this bullshit is all about, and you know what? You know what? I have had it. I have had it.”

vii. The Rise and Fall of the Tron Guy

tron guyProbably the most famous clothing designer of the modern era, Jay Maynard aka The Tron Guy achieved a level of fame and recognition that most fashion designers can only dream of. After publishing an exhaustive, almost forensic, description of how to make a near-flawless Tron Costume, Maynard appeared all over the internet and TV, before possibly getting a bit big for his glowing neon boots. He was barred from appearing in costume at a screening of the 2010 Tron sequel and booed off a TV talent show. But hey, let’s remember the good times.


viii. Just How Do Movies Influence the World of Fashion?

From an article on that could fit very nicely into Private Eye’s Pseuds Corner:

“His movies are like those vivid dreams we all have and don’t quite understand but can’t wait to tell everyone about the next day — similar, in fact, to Prada’s fall 2013 show, with its cryptic set and eerie score that oozed mystery.”