“Money Is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons”
– Woody Allen
“You gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. ”
– Tony Montana, Scarface
“I’m living in America, and in America, you’re on your own. America’s not a country. It’s just a business. Now fucking pay me.”
– Jackie Cogan, Killing Them Softly
The next LUC Briefing will be on the subject of… Fashion
i. The Queen Of Versailles
A bizarrely fascinating documentary about the family of an unpleasant timeshare billionaire who have hit (relatively) hard times. Can loads of money make you happy? Apparently not.
ii. Margot Robbie’s Unfortunate Paper Cuts
From an article on The Daily Beast
“If anyone is ever planning on having sex on top of a pile of cash: don’t. Or maybe real money is a bit softer”
iii. Do Tax Breaks Lead to Deliberately Bad films?
The whole sorry tale of Uwe Boll, his terrible, terrible video game adaptations and the complexities of German tax write-offs is akin to The Producers, but with all the jokes taken out and replaced by evasive accounting practices. There is still an annoying, dictatorial figure involved though.
iv. Maths and the Weight of Money Ruin the Plausibility of Fast Five
From an article on vulture.com
“In other words, after 15 seconds of acceleration, the pair would be dragging the vault at only 2.3 miles per hour. According to a quick mental calculation, 2.3 mph < 50 mph. By a lot.”
v. The severe cost of Hollywood Film Production
One of the most illuminating things about this breakdown of what it cost to produce the 2014 version of Annie isn’t the $11 million tax break or Cameron Diaz’s $7.5 million fee – what caught my attention was that the titles cost $101,500. I’d have done it for half that…
vi. Remember when The KLF Burnt A Million Pounds?
It seems almost quaint now, but the pop charts used to be home to the sort of mad situationist art terrorists who would quite happily troop off to a remote Scottish island and film themselves burning a million quid. It seems unlikely that Ed Sheeran will be doing something like this any time soon.
vii. Trying To Make Your Millions On Youtube Sounds Like No Fun At All
From an article on Cracked:
“There’s practically no difference between being an up-and-coming ‘tuber and a disaffected middle-of-the-rung ‘tuber. You’re producing the types of content that get good numbers, but from a corporate perspective, you’re too small to justify sponsorship. You’re in the same financial position as before, but with the added complication that your decent-sized following now recognizes you and judges your every twitch.”
viii. The Money Gun
Too lazy or too cool to throw your money at people manually? There’s a solution for that. Just think of the time this could have saved the Bullingdon club back in the day. Also a sensitive and playful foreplay accoutrement – what woman wouldn’t like to be treated like a stripper by a man with a toy gun?